July 10th, '17 9:59 am
The chip on my shoulder is heavy but I can't blame others for not seeing what I know I possess. But wait! Of course I can, and I will. Your inability to grasp and acknowledge someone's talent shouldn't be a burden I have to bear, or any other great artist out there seeking recognition.
Wanting validation to solidify your greatness is the quickest way to a huge plate of inferiority, self-doubt, self-pity, and disgust for others. The truth is, you're already great. Ultimately, you're as good or bad as YOU think you are. Waiting on a stamp of approval from your peers or anyone else will drive you mad. I've been told on numerous occasions that I was underrated or slept on as a visual artist. It comes off as a compliment and is simultaneously disheartening. I give many thanks for the praise, contrarily knowing I shouldn't be slept on or feeling unnoticed in the first place. As humans, we often question our existence and being an artist in a field that's competitive and somewhat superficial at times, it's onerous dealing with the inconsistencies and constant hustle to prove that not all artists have to "Starve," or receive recognition after they've passed on to another life.
To add more defeat, the melanin in my skin puts more weight on my shoulders. This rests not solely on me, but shoulders of similar expressionists, dealing with the burdens their families and the hundreds of generations before them all passed down to each of us. I just think everyone's coping mechanism is different. It's hard to refute living in a system built on lies and enslaving our minds for the succession of a "superior race" hasn't stricken me at all. The Fact is not all opportunities are equal, and certain people work laboriously out of necessity.
Meditation and the power of my subconscious mind have aided in superseding of all these "obstacles." When the heart and spirit are at the root of your intentions, the main person who should be satisfied with your output and work is YOU. We must remain steadfast in breaking chains and deprogramming those very things that oppress us.
I've always been impressed by Logic; I've felt similar sentiments of being an underdog and battling identity issues in a society that tries to place you in one category, chastising you for not fitting the mold. Like me, Logic's favorite artist is J. Cole. On Logic's last track titled "AfricAryan," J. Cole contains a hidden feature, where he raps a message that he sent to Logic explaining to him the importance of self-love, forgiveness, acquiring peace, and following your dreams. His words spoke to my spirit. Maybe they'll touch you or help sparks fly within your aspirations.
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four, listen
Look into my eyes
Tell me you could see beyond the smile that I'm puttin' on
This front that I'm puttin' up for you
I spill my soul into a microphone
With poems written in blood
In hopes that it's enough for you
Do you love me yet?
Do you love me yet?
I'll go harder for you
In fact, I rap till I collapse
All I wanted was acceptance, my latest lesson
I'll never feel your approval till I accept my own
Come from a messed up home, destitute and less informed
About the ways to raise a child up
To not become a product
Of his environment, I need to cry and vent
But I done built this wall up
Actin' like everything's all good
But in reality I'm lookin' for something
Through bumpin' my favorite rappers I came up after
Nas, Cole, and Hov
Eyes closed, I zone till five or so in the morn'
I'm used to being alone
Shit, you know how long I've been out on my own?
Chasing dreams, fantasies of a throne
One day I wake up and see that it didn't exist all along
Till then I will pen verses that fans consider brilliant
Boosting my ego with every million that spills in
And still then
I won't find solace, so where's the logic in that?
Worrying 'bout if they think Logic could rap
When it all goes back to a childhood, need to be loved
By parents that was in too deep with the drugs
Nigga, my advice, fuck the black and white shit
Be who you are, identify as a star
No one tells you you're that
It's something that you just know
The world be stealing your glow
Your mama did what she could
Her life was miles from good
Your father fell in the trap
They set for you when you black
They met when they was low
And therefore you a product of that
And so your trauma is deep
Don't bury it you should weep
And clean it out of your system, then truly forgive 'em
Just my opinion, only then can you find peace
Just start to notice happiness don't come from album release
I've been through it before
Can only share with you what I know
To be true, but at the same time, I'll never be you
And you'll never be me, no matter how hard that you try
This is for youngins out there wondering how far you can fly
The truth is that you could go further than the stars and the sky
But if you want to then you ought to know why
Are you running from something
With hopes of becoming someone
That's finally worthy of love
Let me tell you now, you're worthy enough
Fuck approval from strangers, that shit is dangerous as hell
Find God, learn to accept yourself
And I'm gone, accept Him